And Koosy Makes Three
by Wickfield
Summary: Dee Dee's imaginary friend, the Koosalagoopagoop, has disappeared, and Mandark intends to use the power of Magic to get him back and win Dee Dee's love - as well as her invitation to the Sadie Hawkins Dance. Will his epic plan work?
1. Part 1

_A/N: I always wondered how Dee Dee got Koosy back after Dexter imagined him away, so this is my idea. ;) Best understood if you've seen the Dexter's Laboratory episodes "The Koos is Loose," "Dexter Detention," and "Mandarker." Enjoy!_

**And Koosy Makes Three**

**PART ONE**

"_Mandark…I know this is kind of unexpected…I'm usually not this shy…it's just, well, I think you're so dreamy and smart and handsome that I just couldn't get up the courage to talk to you until now. But, well, you're the only guy in the whole entire school I'd ever __DREAM __of asking to the Sadie Hawkins dance. Oh Mandark, please say you'll go with me, and make me the happiest girl in the world!"_

I blinked as a crash of thunder jarred me from my reverie. Ah, the Sadie Hawkins Dance, yes. Frowning, I plucked off one of the flyers which had been plastered (by some idiot on the dance committee) to every wall in the school. November 9th – barely a week away, and all the girls would be forced to decide who _they _would ask to the dance in this cruel and unjust reversal of roles. Who was I kidding? Like Dee Dee, that golden-haired princess of the sky, would ever ask _me_ to go with her. I knew I was superior in intelligence to every other boy in the school – and in my admiration for Dee Dee I was equally unsurpassed – but I wasn't exactly the suave type. She'd never notice me.

"But," I considered, hanging up my rain-soaked slicker in my locker, "she hasn't asked anyone else either…if only I could get her attention, do her a favor, something really great, she'd consider asking _me_!" It wasn't impossible. I mean, man had made it to the moon, right?

I usually arrived early to school on Tuesdays, because then I had access to the science labs (and their unlimited store of free supplies, haha) before any other students. Well, except for a certain halfwit who liked to take up valuable oxygen and space on the planet. This halfwit was, in fact, already seated in the lab that morning (in the spot he KNEW I always preferred) and was dimly paging through a thick textbook. I'll admit, I was surprised to find him so unapologetically lazy – at least he was usually faking some kind of busywork. But today it was obvious he was in lalaland.

"Dexter."

"Mandark."

I terminated these superfluous greetings by pulling out a stool, picking up a textbook and calculator, and preparing to get some _real_ work done.

Except for the fact that Dexter, naturally, was thwarting me. I would have launched right into proofing Newton's gravitational theorems, myself, but every time I raised my eyes I caught another glimpse of Dexter paging listlessly through his book. After a few more attempts to study I finally, for the sake of science, demanded, "Hey Dexter, what's your problem anyway?"

"NONE OF YOUR _BEESWAX_!" he burst out defensively, slamming his book shut. Ha, so something _was_ bothering the grand boy genius! (Not that I _cared_, apart from being able to privately gloat over it.) He glowered at me, realizing his mistake, and I smirked back. "I mean...," he corrected himself, "nothing is wrong. Nothing at all. But thank you for asking. I know you are the soft emotional sort."

"Nice one, but don't flatter yourself, Dexter. You're not my type." Ha, _that_ shut him up, the freaky little gnome. He frowned, and was about to return to his lollygagging, when his beady eyes caught sight of the dance flyer poking out of my folder.

Drat.

"Ohoh, what have we here?"

"HEY!"

He snatched it, and brought it two millimeters from his glasses so he could read it. "Ah, a poster for the Sadie Hawkins Dance? So Mandark has taken a liking to public humiliation, I see. Of course, I suppose you are unaware of the fact that the "Sadie Hawkins" dance (as it is colloquially called) originated in the early 20th century, and was taken from the so-named event in the Li'l Abner comic strip series? She was "the homeliest gal in all them hills." I guess you two have some things in common."

"Well unlike _you_, Dexter, I don't tend to base my store of factual knowledge around information from _comic strips_. But yes, I actually _did _know that. So ha. And frankly I don't see why _you_ care at all – considering no girl in her right senses would ever ask YOU to the dance!"

"Oh, on the contrary, Mandark," he answered, delicately replacing the folder on my desk with a satisfied smile. "_Miss Wimple_ has, in fact, asked me to accompany her."

Now there _are_ bounds to believability, so I feel perfectly justified in admitting I whirled around in shock. "Huh? What the heck are you TALKING about?" Miss Wimple was an adult, and the best looking one in school besides – what did _she_ want with the Dorkster?

"She asked me to assist her in chaperoning the occasion – and how could I reject her, hm?" He grinned, that sickening, slimy, overbitish Dexter grin. "So I suppose I'll be seeing you there then?"

He was so conceited, so certain that every girl in the school would automatically shun me, that I fumed with indignation. "Yeah Dexter, you bet I'll see you there!"

He raised one eyebrow. "Ah. And I suppose you are hoping my _sister_ will ask you? Ha! Dee Dee may be stupid but she still has a _few_ IQ points to work with."

"Don't you talk about Dee Dee like that!" I fired back. "Just watch, Dexter – I'll show you!"

The bell rang as soon as I spoke, allowing Dexter the easy way out. "Hm, I look forward to that, Mandark." He hopped down from his stool and shouldered his backpack, and without another word he had shuffled off to join the crowd of fourth graders headed for class.

As for me, I was so furious I could barely pack up my own bookbag. Well played, Dexter – he had distracted me from whatever failure or problem he'd been brooding over by insulting not only _me_, but my one true love as well. Little did he know I was far smarter than he thought.

"I don't know how, but I'll show him. Dee Dee WILL ask me to the dance, and I'll best Dexter in front of everyone. He'll see."

The bell rang again, and I hurried out into the hallway. Math class waited for no man – not even an evil genius with a plan.

-X-

Fortunately for my scheming, Mr. Levinsky had issued a pop quiz – considering it covered only the most basic material (I mean please it was 4th grade math, people), I only had to take the time to physically read and write out my responses, and then I had at least 20 spare minutes to devise my own gameplan. (I also noticed Dexter was particularly slow that day, returning his test a whole 3.527 seconds after me, which confirmed my suspicions of some inner turmoil. Ha!) I realized that, in order to better understand Dee Dee's current frame of mind, I would have to do some friendly spying, and since we didn't share classes and I usually only passed her in a glorious moment in the hall, there was only one course of action. "I'll have to eat in the lunchroom."

For a young man of my intellectual standing, eating in the lunchroom usually means subjecting oneself to the giggles and teasing of foolish girls, the shoves and spitballs of the athletes, and the mind-numbing comic book chatter of common nerds. I therefore usually ate whatever lunch my mother packed me alone, in the classroom.

"But faint heart never won fair maiden," I reminded myself, so ten minutes later I was equipped with a steaming tray of something unidentifiable, and I gingerly squeezed my way between talking kids until I found an empty table in the corner where I could eat and eavesdrop unobserved.

Well, it WOULD have been unobserved, except I had failed to remember that my sister Olga, after one of her periods of hostility towards Dee Dee (and her two cheap copy wannabe friends who paled in comparison to my daffodil) was now on good terms with them again. As soon as I saw Dee Dee and her friends sit down at their table, Olga spotted me.

"What are YOU doing here, dweeb?" she demanded, and every girl at the table instantly swiveled and stared at me.

"I – I'm eating," I managed to choke out under the influence of Dee Dee's eyes. They were the color of the sky.

"Just ignore him," said one of the friends (Mee Mee, I suppose). And so they did. Really well, actually.

Darn you Olga. I picked at my – lunch, for lack of a better word – with a plastic fork. I was afraid to chew anything for fear I would miss part of their conversation.

For the first ten minutes they mostly talked about dance class, ponies, Eleventeen magazine (Shmarky Shmark was on the cover, apparently) and other topics which didn't help me at all! I found, to my dismay, that Dee Dee wasn't saying much of anything, and seemed to be playing with her food without interest. But finally, Mee Mee and Lee Lee propped their elbows up on the lunch table and grinned dimly at each other. "Now it's time for some real girl talk!" Mee Mee giggled. "So Dee Dee, who are you gonna ask to the dance?"

Dee Dee took a sip of milk. "Oh, uh, I dunno…who are you guys asking?" _She didn't know!_ Excellent!

"Well I'm asking Todd. He's dreamy!"

"And I'm asking Johnny. He's dreamier!"

"And I'm not going because it's stupid." (That was my sister.)

"I dunno if I'm going either," Dee Dee sighed. _Huh?_ "I don't think I'll feel like it."

Mee Mee and Lee Lee looked at each other with concern, and I almost fell off my bench straining to hear. "Aw Dee Dee, what's wrong?" Lee Lee asked. "You've been sad all day. And now you don't even wanna go to the dance with us? Something must really be bothering you."

Dee Dee looked up. Her lip trembled. "Well it's just – I don't – OH, I CAN'T TAKE IT! DEXTER – DEXTER IMAGINED KOOSY AWAY!" She burst into tears, and she sobbed so loudly that everyone in the cafeteria turned around and stared at her misery. "HE'S GONE FOREVER AND I – I – I WANT MY KOOSALAGOOPAGOOP BA-AA-ACK!"

_Koosalagoopagoop?_

Olga was wide-eyed and embarrassed by the scene, and Dee Dee's friends tried unsuccessfully to console her. "Come On, Dee," Mee Mee urged. "He was _your_ imaginary friend! Can't you imagine him back?"

_Imaginary friend?_

"I TRI-I-IED!" She sniffed and wailed again. "He won't COME back! He's in the great beYONNND!"

"W-well…so there's no way to get him back?" Lee Lee prodded. "I mean there's gotta be some way, Dee Dee."

"Only magic would bring my Koosy back," Dee Dee cried, big fat tears rolling onto the table. "And I don't know anyone who works magic," she added in despair.

_**Magic?**_

"I can't – I WON'T go to the dance or have any fun till I get Koosy back. I won't be happy without him! It isn't fair." Dee Dee had evidently cried out all she could, and was wiping her red face with her arm and sniffling loudly. "So there."

But I had to admit, I couldn't _remember _the last time I had been so happy – more or less. Poor Dee Dee had suffered at the hands of her merciless brother, who apparently loathed her imaginary friend – the creation of that beautiful angel's mind! But I was master at summoning creatures from the other dimensions, especially imaginary ones – I mean heck, I'd even written a whole thesis with the help of Jojo!

"Once more the dark arts will help me," I thought with glee as I gulped down a few bites of lunch. "I will bring back the Koosalagoopagoop – whatever that is – thus thwarting Dexter's attempts to destroy it, restoring Dee Dee's happiness, and securing her admiration for me. Then she'll _have_ to ask me to the dance. Hahaha! Good thing I just got my wizarding robe back from the cleaners'."

-X-

I'd have to talk to Dee Dee alone. Ah…just the thought of her glowing…head, I guess (in my vision the light was all around her so I guess it was coming from her head) was enough to make me shiver in bliss…and maybe a bit of fear. But I swear no other man in history has felt what _I_ do for Dee Dee!

Dee Dee was so popular it would be tricky to catch her alone, away from her two wannabe friends. It would take a brain of my my size to figure that one out.

But wait…

While Mr. Levinsky droned on about King Tutankhamen (and Dexter sat taking notes lest his feeble brain forget), I dived into my bookbag. "Yes…excellent, just as I thought!"

"And that concludes our discussion on King Tut!" Mr. Levinsky finally said, pleased with himself. "Class dismissed!"

I still had my arm shoved elbow-length into my knapsack, and I ignored Dexter's quizzical look as he passed by. I had no time for him now. I had bigger things to worry about.

As the fourth graders filed out into the hallway, I could hear chattering voices coming from the sixth-grade classroom. Perfect.

"And then I said, 'No way! Sparkle Star Pony is WAY better than Purple Rain Pony' – hey, come on Dee Dee, hurry up!"

_No, Dee Dee, slow down._ I watched as Mee Mee and Lee Lee turned the corner, looking back at my lagging princess, and at that moment I yanked a candy bar and some random lollipops out of my bookbag (Halloween leftovers, hahaha!) and chucked them down the hallway!

While Mee Mee blathered on about ponies, Lee Lee slammed in her tracks. "Mee Mee, wait a second!" She sniffed the air like a bloodhound. "I smell….yes…somewhere in this hall there is – "

"CANDY!" They disappeared faster than you can say Pythagoream Theroem.

_Excellent._

"Hey you guys, where did you go?" Dee Dee called, confused, as she finally came out of the classroom. Then she saw me.

"Ugh, get away from me, Mandork!" she groaned, elbowing me as she passed by.

It was then I realized how affected she was by the loss of her imaginary friend. Usually she just rolled her eyes – she was never this harsh!

"Oh, um, Dee Dee, wait, I needed to talk to you!"

She frowned. "But you're always so BORING," she sighed, impatiently.

I don't know how I was any more _boring _than her _brother _but I overlooked this.

"Um, uh, really, I'll make it fast! Uh, in the lunchroom today I heard you talking about your, um, Koosalagoopagoop?"

"Yeah." She frowned again, and started playing with a pompom on her backpack. "I miss him."

"Oh, of course you do! But you know – I happen to be an expert on Koosalagoopa…goops." I crossed my fingers and hoped that was the proper plural form.

I guess it was, because her eyes grew huge and she stared at me. "Nuh-uh!"

"Oh yes, I can assure you I am. I've read extensively on the topic – it's just another thing we have in common."

She blinked, and seemed to be calculating something in her head. "Nuh-uh. Cause I'm pretty sure I made them up." She scratched her head, and all her sadness was apparently replaced by curiosity and confusion. "I mean, gee, even _Dexter_ hadn't heard of a Koos – "

_DEXTER?_ "Well just because DEXTER hasn't heard of one doesn't mean anybody with an average _intelligence_ hasn't so maybe he's not as _smart _as he likes to think and _tell_ everybody he is and it's not impossible that maybe I know a few things he DOESN'T, so ha!"

Dee Dee shrugged. "OKAY, sorry, geez, don't get your underpants in a wrinkle. ANYway, you know about Koosy. So you know he can change size, right?"

Still hung on the way she said "underpants," I supplied a vague "Yeah."

"Hmm, and you know he has a big heart on his tummy that glows when he's happy?"

"Uh…yeah, of course."

"And you know that he's very kind and gentle, and he can make a mean Pepe wrap?"

"Well geez," I replied with a snort, "who DOESN'T?"

She blinked. "Wow, I guess you do know everything there is about Koosy. Not that it matters," she added, with a sniffle. "Stupid Dexter went and imagined him way, so now Koosy is lost forever."

"But you see, that's what I wanted to talk to you about!" I protested. "Not only am I a Koos _expert_, I am also skilled in the dark arts."

"Yeah, that's how you made that icky goo monster that tried to eat me at the science fair."

"Well…uh…yes. But forget about that! I can do more than summon icky goo monsters…I can _also_ bring the Kooslagoopagoop back - from wherever your horrible brother banished him to."

I could visibly see Dee Dee processing this information as she stared at me. Slowly her face crept into a smile, and then without warning she let out an ear-splitting scream and threw herself at me! "DO IT!" Bring him back, Mandark!" she shrieked, straight into my ear. But I didn't care at all, oh dear no! "Oh KOOSY! EEEEE! YAY! Bring him back TONIGHT!" I couldn't say anything – I was willing myself not to transform into a puddle of goo in her arms.

Probably due to my silence, she suddenly noticed our hug and immediately detached. "Ew gross, get off of me."

I think I apologized. Who cared who hugged who? It was _glorious_. "Um…okay, come to my lab tonight at 7 then, and we'll get the Koosalagoopagoop back."

Dee Dee screamed again and stood on tiptoe in an improvised ballet move. "EEE, I can't WAIT! YAY! I'll see you then, Mandark! Bye!" She pirouetted, slung her backpack over her shoulder, then danced and leapt and twirled down the hallway, singing and giggling with glee. And it was all thanks to _me._

Tonight at 7.

I don't care what you, with your insignificant mind, might think. In _my_ book, that was a date!


	2. Part 2

**PART TWO**

I realize it may come as a shock that I, Mandark Astronominov, man of Science, should know anything of Magic, much less of imaginary friends. But you see, Jojo – the same icky goo monster I presented at the science fair – was _my_ imaginary friend.

The explanation is ridiculously simple. As a child my desire for science and knowledge was constantly trampled by my tree-hugging parents at every chance they got. Despite their ceaseless presence, without anyone to talk to about the things I truly loved, I always felt really lonely. So I had imagined Jojo; my first friend. My parents approved of my "groovy self-expression," but they did not realize that, with Jojo by my side, together we had discovered the Magic of Science. And the discovery had helped to keep me sane until I was free to create my laboratory.

So I was very used to dealing with imaginary friends, indeed. The best kind of friends are the kind who always do exactly what you tell them.

Still, as I counted down the hours till 7 o'clock that Tuesday night, reviewing my magic book and letting out the hem of my robe, I was worried Dee Dee's Koosalagoopagoop might be unpredictable, stubborn, or heck, might just not understand the spell. And if I failed, Dee Dee would think I was an idiot, and Dexter would triumph! I _couldn't_ let that happen, no way.

Finally my clock turned to 7. And 7:01. And 7:15. And I no longer had any fingernails left to chew.

"_Retina scan insufficient. Access denied,"_ I heard a Mandroid announce at the lab door.

"THAT'S DEE DEE YOU FOOL!" I shrieked, tearing past him to manually open the door myself. I pounded the access code into the keypad. _Be cool, Mandark, be cool._

"Dee Dee, my sweet," I grinned as the door whooshed open to reveal my princess struggling with an overstuffed dance bag. "I was afraid something was keeping you."

"Huh?" She shrugged. "Eh, I guess practice ran late. Gee, it's dark in here. Do you always keep it so dark? No wonder you can't see. Maybe you don't need glasses after all, just a light switch. Hee hee hee! Hey what are you wearing? Is that your Halloween costume? Why – "

I was glad to see her in better spirits. "Well you see, Dee Dee, these are my magic robes, and the room has to be dark so the spell will work."

"Uh huh. Sure."

I nodded and gently guided (never dragged!) her to the center of the laboratory as she chattered on the entire time. "So this spell had better work, Mandark. Otherwise I'd have come to your house for nothing, yuck!"

"_You would have had a nice conversation at me…"_ I grumbled, but no, I couldn't get distracted. I pulled my magic book out of my sleeve and turned to the correct page.

"Oooooo….let me see!" Dee Dee bounced up on tiptoe and looked over my shoulder. "Wowwwww…that looks fancy! Hurry up!"

"I – I am," I stammered.

"No you're not, you're taking FOREVER."

She was right. I couldn't bring myself to utter the spell yet. Having Dee Dee in the laboratory made things seem more urgent, more important. I had to know if the spell would be worthwhile – otherwise I couldn't go on. "Uh, Dee Dee, may I ask you something first? You know how you said you wouldn't go to the dance if your imaginary friend was gone?"

"Huh? Oh yeah."

"Well, if I brought him back for you, would you…uh…go? With anybody?"

She considered this.  
>"I don't know of anyone I'd ask, but I guess I might go."<p>

"Oh." Yes, of course, I couldn't rush her. She was just being coy, I guessed. I hoped.

"THE SPELL, MANDARK?"

Yes, now was as good a time as any. "Uh, right. Ahem. K-KOOSALAGOOPAGOOP – "

"Koosy," Dee Dee corrected me.

"Um, oh yes. KOOSY." (It didn't sound so impressive that way.) "I COME TO YOU AS MANDARK, MONARCH OF DARKNESS."

"And Dee Dee!"

"But of course. AND DEE DEE. BUT NOT DEXTER, THAT DORK WHO BANISHED YOU TO BEYOND. AND TOGETHER, AS TWO PEOPLE, AS A COUPLE, DEE DEE AND I – "

"I think he gets it, Mandark."

"Uh, right. AND TOGETHER, WE SUMMON YOU BACK, KOOSALAGOOPAGOOP, BACK TO OUR WORLD. BACK TO LIFE! _CHIM CHIMMENY, CHER-OO!"_

I know I held my breath there in the darkness, staring at Dee Dee's face, lit dimly by the chemical glow of a few red laboratory lights. _Come on, Koos, if you've ever loved anything. Come back._

And then I heard a noise that basically sounded like "AAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEYYYYYYYYKOOSY!"

I winced and blinked and saw Dee Dee flying through the air until she smacked against a big yellow egg-shaped thing.

"KOOSY! Oh, Koosy, you're back, you're back!"

"Uh huh, I know! Hoo-hoo-hee-hee!" The Koos smiled, a big pink heart glowing on his stomach. He was pink and yellow and friendly and looked exactly like one of Dee Dee's imaginary friends should look – like it was a live version of her sweet creativity. "I'd been stuck in Koosland and I didn't like it, Dee Dee. Not at all, huh uh. On account of no one in Koosland appreciates my Pepe wraps."

"Oh Koosy, I'm so sorry." She just hugged him tighter. "But now you're_ back_ and we'll have so much fun and be best friends forever!"

"Yay, it'll be gr – hey, wait a second, who's that?" The Koos blinked from behind his own glasses, looked at me and then, THEN, had the audacity to frown! "He looks kinda like a bully to me, Dee Dee," he whispered.

Um, I was STANDING RIGHT THERE. But then I heard the wonderful words, "Who? Oh, Mandark? No Koosy, Mandark brought you back!"

"But-but Dee Dee," he whispered again, looking solemn, "he gives me the…._heeby jeebies_."

"Koosy, say thank you," she urged, and hopped down to stand beside him.

"Thank you Mandark." But he still kept starting and frowning at me, just like he didn't trust me. He barely knew me – I hadn't even done anything to him yet! Very well. If _that_ was how he was going to behave….

"Hey _Dee Dee_ – you know, I thought you said Koosy was _nice_. I think I must have summoned the wrong Koos and maybe I should send him back – "

"No!" Dee Dee screamed. "No, this _is _Koosy! Koosy, why are you being mean to Mandark?"

"B-but I – I'm not - "he protested.

"Well stop!" She crossed her arms and tapped her foot. "And be a _good_ Koosalagoopagoop."

"Yeah, okay Dee Dee. Anything for you." He hung his head, and yet he glared darkly at me.

Everything settled to her liking, Dee Dee danced a little and turned to me herself. "Thanks so much Mandark!" she squealed. "It's so great having Koosy back again!"

"Dee Dee, my dear, please, don't mention it," I smiled. "And uh, now, I guess you can go to the – "

"Dance, you're right! If only I had someone to go with… " Suddenly she shrieked. "Hey, I've got a GREAT idea! Since I can't think of anyone else and you brought Koosy back anyway, why don't YOU come with me!"

_Excellent._

"Why Dee Dee, that is a _wonderfu_l idea! I never even thought about that at all in the slightest. Just let me check my schedule to make sure I'm free…." As I blandly consulted my wristwatch computer Dee Dee informed her creature about the Sadie Hawkins dance. "Won't it be great, Koosy?"

"Yeah, Dee Dee. And uh…so you decided to ask Mandark all on your own, huh?" he inquired.

"Yep, I sure did! Girls are supposed to ask the boys and all the good ones were taken already anyway," she beamed.

"Gee whiz, that sounds like fun!" the Koos said. "And hey, you know what would be even funner?"

"WHAT?" Dee Dee squealed, her blue eyes growing wide. "Tell me!"

"Well, I've never been to a dance before, and seeing as how I missed out on all the fun for the last few days, I was thinking maybe I could come _with_ you guys?"

"_No_!" I answered at the exact same time Dee Dee screamed "Yes!"

And it was at that moment I decided _I hated_ the Koosalagoopagoop.

"EEEE, it'll be so much fun! And you can do your Jimmy Carter impression! Oh Mandark, I'm so glad you saved Koosy! Now you guys can be friends!"

"Friends forever!" the Koos agreed with a monstrous, toothy grin. "Cause I gotta make sure he's always nice and honest to you, Dee Dee, and doesn't try to trick you."

Oh, oh, I see, hmm, very nice. "Why, there's nothing to be worried about, Koosy," I reminded him.

"Uh, Mister Koosy, kid." He eyed me.

"_Mister Koosy_."

"Just checking to make sure we are all agreeing that we want Dee Dee to be_ happy_."

"Oh, peachy."

"Gee, you guys are _talking _friendly but it doesn't really sound like it…" Dee Dee observed. "Um, maybe I should take Koosy home, Mandark – he's probably pretty tired….but I'll see you at school and we'll meet at the dance, okay?"

"That sounds delightful, Dee Dee! I look forward to the occasion."

"See you then, Mandark," the Koos echoed, still regarding me as if I was an ax murderer. Some way of thanking me! I eyed him back.

"I guess you will."

Dee Dee waved and shoved the imaginary friend out the laboratory door. I yanked off my hat.

What a bittersweet victory! Cruel irony! At last, Dee Dee had asked me to the dance, and even thought it was all her idea. But I was now forced to spend the evening under the watch of that _stupid_ imaginary friend.

Well if I _had_ to be there with the Koos, at least Dexter would realize I reversed his attempts to rid himself of the beast. Hahaha. My dance might not be perfect…but it would certainly be better than his! Hahaha, hahahaha!

As I always say, when life gives you lemons, find a kid with a paper cut.

-X-

Saturday night, November 9th. I had been in a kind of anxiety attack all day, alleviated only by blowing a few things up and conducting some genetic mutation experiments to pass the time until the dance. I had to retie my tie twelve times, and on the car ride to Huber Elementary I felt almost as stupid-looking as Dexter actually was.

We pulled up to the school just as Dee Dee flung herself out of her mom's station wagon. I somehow managed to crawl out of our own van.

"Good_bye_, mother," I said through gritted teeth as she smiled in Dee Dee's direction. (She was very approving of the Sadie Hawkins theme and I guess she was imagining my love was greatly empowered by it.)

"Have a groovy time at the dance, Lovechild!" she sang as Dee Dee headed toward us. "I'll pick you up at 9!" And just as Dee Dee came within earshot my mother blared the van's horn, which honked to the tune of "Brick House," and sped out of sight.

My family believed in funky beats, but not in speed limits.

"Hey, I like that song!" said the perfect girl as she bounded up beside me. "I got a new dress!" she added, as if I hadn't already noticed every detail.

"Uh…" I said, until she got tired of the conversation.

"Whatever. Oh look, here's Koosy!"

"Yay."

In a starry pink swirl the Koosalagoopagoop appeared, much larger than he had been the last time. He was wearing a bowtie and what was very clearly a malignant and triumphant expression. However, Dee Dee somehow managed to overlook this. "You look so handsome, Koosy!"

I suppose it didn't _matter_ I had on a new suit. I glared at the Koos for thwarting my mojo, and if I had known the right spell I would have blown him up in a cloud of confetti! Hahaha!

But my violent musings were interrupted by the sudden press of Dee Dee's hand against mine, and I was instantly put into a catatonic state until she dragged me and her despicable beast into the school gymnasium, which had been oh-so-tastefully decorated with hay bales, balloons, and paper streamers.

"Oooo, look at the decorations! Aren't they pretty?" Dee Dee sighed.

"Not as pretty as y – " I began, but was interrupted by the cry of

"PUNCH! OOOO, PUNCH!"

"Oooo you're right, Koosy! And it's Hawaiian too – exotic! Come on Mandark, let's go get some punch!"

Terrific. Koosy didn't even look over as he trailed Dee Dee to the punch table.

Mee Mee and Lee Lee were already there. Lee Lee choked on a brownie when she spied our trio and Mee Mee gasped, "Dee, it's, it's – "

"Koosalagoopagoop, I know!" Dee Dee grinned.

"No Dee Dee, I'm talkin' about _Mandork_! You came with MANDORK?"

"Why did you ask _him_?" Lee Lee added, in horror.

"I dunno. He brought Koosy back and now we're all friends."

Mee Mee and Lee Lee nodded. "Oh…so can he see Koosy too?"

"Uh huh!"

"Oh. Right"

This night just kept getting _better_. "Dee Dee, my dear, why don't we go sit down?" I proposed.

"Or we could dance," the Koos suggested, helpfully.

"Or _we_ could dance, Dee Dee."

"Nah, let's go sit." Dee Dee took us both by hand.

As was typical of most infantile elementary students, the girls were lined up on one side of the gym, and the boys on the other, like they were at opposite magnetic poles. But Dee Dee was _not_ typical and found an empty bench where we could eat our cookies and punch.

"Hey," Dee Dee said as she liked some crumbs off her fingers, "I wonder where Dexter is?"

"Maybe he got stood up," I suggested. It was, after all, the most likely possibility.

"No, he came early 'cause his teacher wanted him to help set up or something. I thought it was weird, personally, but then_ I'm _not the genius, you know. Hmm….where could he….oh, there he is! DEXTER! HEY DEXTER COME HERE – darn, he's walking away, he must not be able to hear me. I'll go get him. You two stay put, hee hee!"

Dexter had been so busy avoiding his sister he hadn't even looked over. Perfect. His shock at finally seeing the Kooslagoopagoop returned would make my night. My princess emerged at last, steering her brother to our bench.

"But _Dee Dee_, Miss Wimple said we were going to _dance_ and I practiced all week and if I may say so I was getting pretty good – "

"Oh Dexter, you're so dumb, who wants to dance with some old twenty-something? _I_ have something _better_ to show you."

"Oh yeah? And what, pray tell could that b…" Dexter left off his whining and followed Dee Dee's eyes. What he saw shut him up.

"Is that…" he stuttered, "K-K…"

"Hoohoo, hi Dexter," the Koos said, happily.

"Koosy?" Dexter whispered. His eyes grew large and a little soggy. "It _is_ you!"

_WAIT WAIT WAIT. WHAT? What kind of crap was this? _"You're right, Dexter, that _is_ the Koosalagoopagoop you see before your eyes. The Koos _you_ tried to banish forever."

"_Mandark_!" Dexter noticed me for the first time, and his expression changed to its normal haughty look. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"I came with your sister, stupid. Ha!"

"With _Dee Dee?_"

"Yeah, he saved Koosy for us, Dexter! Isn't that great?"

I shot my eyes toward Dexter, who was trying frantically and unsuccessfully to shut her up. "US? Whaddaya mean, "us"?"

"Uh huh! See Mandark, Dexter accidentally imagined Koosy away last weekend, and he'd been kinda upset – "

"No I wasn't!"

"Yes you were, silly, and he didn't know how to get Koosy back and he was really sad – "

"I was nothing of the sort, Dee Dee!"

"Aw, you weren't?" the Koos asked, disappointed. "Oh…"

"Well uh – "

"You were TOO sad, Dexter, you were even crying! And now, thanks to Mandark we can all be happy, and even Koosy and Mandark are friends!"

Dexter swallowed and took a seat.

There was silence.

"Isn't that great?"

More silence.

"Aren't we all friends?"

More silence.

"Hey uh, you know if I turn my lips inside out I kinda look like Jimmy – "

Dee Dee shook her head. "Not now, Koosy."

"So. You brought the Koosalgoopagoop back, eh?" Dexter asked me, evenly.

"Yes. And you were actually…upset…you sent him away?"

"Yes."

"Ah."

More silence.

"Um, Koosy?" Dee Dee said, carefully.

"Yes, Dee Dee?"

"How about we go dance and um, let Mandark and Dexter talk, huh?"

"That would be delightful, uh, yes, let us go." And they escaped to the dance floor.

SO.

For those of you too dumb to follow:

Dexter had _accidentally_ banished the Koos (too stupid to do it correctly, apparently).

Dexter was actually sad and wanted it back (so THAT was the reason he'd been such a downer lately! THAT, of all things!)

I therefore _helped _his mood and made him happier, not harmed him, by bringing the Koos back.

I had also helped Dee Dee, but denied myself an evening alone at the dance with her.

These are the things I accomplished with my wonderfully crafted plan. Somehow this must have been Dexter's fault – I just wasn't sure how yet.

"I suppose I should express my gratitude," Dexter snorted.

"I suppose you should shut up."

"Oh yeah, like it is MY fault you were stupid and didn't think your evil plan through." (As I said, it was. I just didn't have the details.)

"Well I see you were too _dumb_ to figure out how to get the Koos back, so thanks to _me_ you can stop crying and start having tea parties with your imaginary friends again."

"Exactly, _thanks_ to you."

We sat there, I glowering, he smirking with self-importance, as the other kids danced by and looked at us like we were some kind of couple. If they were blind enough to think that, let them. Who even _cared_ anymore?

And there was Dee Dee dancing beautifully with her imaginary friend. So she apparently preferred anything, even imaginary entities, to me. Bored out of my mind I tried, at least, to eavesdrop on their conversation.

"Koosy, you've been acting kind of funny ever since you came back. Kinda like you're more…suspicious than you used to be?"

"Aw, Dee Dee! Perish the thought – "

"Enough with the funny talk, Koosy. Ow! Quit stepping on my toes."

"Sorry, I have big feet."

"Okay. Anyways, I'm really glad you – ow! – are with us, but you're usually so shy in crowds. So why did you want to come this time?"

"I dunno."

"Yes you do and if you don't tell me I'll never talk to you again!"

"Oh no! I – sorry, big feet – it's just…well Dee Dee, it's just that Mandark kid seems kinda sneaky. I don't want you to be bamboozled. And it's just – if anyone could trick you and take you away from me, I guess he could."

"What?"

"Uh huh. Cause you know…when girls start liking boys, they don't need imaginary friends anymore."

"Oh Koosy, don't say that! I could never forget you, I wanted you back, remember? And you definitely – OW! – don't need to worry about_ Mandark_."

"Really? Aw, that's great. You know, I guess he's not much of a boy anyway, huh?"

"Hee hee, Koosy, that's not nice. True, but not nice. But uh…he _is_ a better dancer than you are. Ouch."

"All righty then, mademoiselle! I'll sit this one out, Dee Dee. In fact…shall I call it a night?"

"Whatever you say, Koosy." Dee Dee grinned.

"Well your wish is my command, a-heehee." And the Koosalagoopagoop, with a chuckle and a glowing heart, at last disappeared.

Dee Dee plodded over to the bench.

"MANDARK, Koosy had to go home so now you dance with me!" She offered me her hand.

"What?" I asked.

"WHAT?" Dexter demanded. "What is this, some kind of a funny joke or somethin'?"

Dee Dee ignored him. "Let's do…I dunno, how about a tango? Yeah, that sounds fun! Let's tango!"

"I – I – "

"Oh, you don't know how? That's okay, I'll lead! Come on, wheeeeeeeee!"

Then, I didn't regret bringing back that Koosalagoopagoop at all. In fact, I think I had an out-of-body experience. It's like I was watching everything as it happened – I saw a circle clear in the middle of the gym, I saw Dee Dee grab my hand and whip me across the dance floor, I saw Miss Wimple approach a shocked Dexter who retorted "Not now, Miss Wimple, I cannot believe what I am seeing!"  
>But mostly I saw Dee Dee's blue eyes.<p>

And if I hadn't been a genius and the highly intelligent and competent being I knew myself to be - I might have thought I was imagining the whole entire thing.


End file.
